PLEASE

Dear Diary,

Being a lady quite hard for me. I don't know why people keep asking who's my boyfriend, when am I getting married. It's even harder when having a boyfriend but being a big secret to his parents. Sad. What should I do to let him go? My heart can't bare being hurt anymore. But I can't stop loving him. I keep forgive him. It's not for one or two weeks this relationship has been going. It's almost one and a half year.

He never have the strength yo tell his dad about me. He even afraid of meeting me with his parents. Pity me. I've been hurt before and I really want to avoid it for the second. Heart, why don't you understand? That guy only make you felt the terrible feeling again and again. heart, it's also not worth it to trust his promises. How could you getting married without any preparation from now? 

This is to much, my heart keep bleeding, but I still holding on hope that are very dull there.....

Tell me if this is just a game, it must be another nightmare I'm dreaming. When would I get up? Somebody, please wake me up.

PLEASE...